Meditations on Loss

I.

Even yesterday your eyes gripped the road
Dirty liquid of a diverse passion that was transmuted in your blood
But today the roads are gone
They are there but they have flown
Time has left you.

The wind turns and all the doors are locked
Time has left you taken its leaves and carried on
The merry zoo the circus
You wave at it but it doesn’t recognize you you’re no longer its audience
Time has left you.

What is there to do now?
Become an empty door
Who is there to call on?
Time has left you
Become an empty door.

II.

There is a wind that blows dry leaves
And sounds like woman’s laughter
I reached out for a woman
When I found her I lost her.

Never reach out for a woman
Though she may laugh
There is no woman.

Only in mirrors life burns
And burning passes into Burning
Comes again comes larger.

So the earth renews itself
And so forever we reach
Finding we lose
Using we’re used.

III.

Solitary wing,
Flitting at the pause of a comma you are gone
Wing of feldspar wing of jasper
How you turned transparent and disappeared
And my hand turned ghostly behind you
Once the moon rose low in my dream
And I saw its jade branches grow terribly vivid
And then it was gone
Into what space? Through what hole in time?
And space is space, water is water
Renunciation restores to form its form.

IV.

What is there to a dice that it may roll and make the heart ache
Once I knew your ways dice and I played you
And once I thought I knew your ways but I did not know
Blind heads beat against stone walls
Cats’ eyes are alert in the dark
Where the ivy thickens the serpent waits
And once you said you will roll for me and I stopped playing
In this room which is so many rooms I have lost my hands my feet
But you have left my eyes dice one still one rolling.